Leadership/Self-Deception

In this session we will continue through “Leadership & Self-Deception” by the Arbinger Institute. We have been learning about a common situation in our lives where we interact with others and then things get challenging and our mind starts running and we have battles in our mind. Today will will continue to learn about living in the box.

Can you explain in your own words what “being in the box” is about?  Have you had any experience with self-deception, either personally or with someone else?

Read chapter 13

Just the title of the book can put on the defense or jump to denial, The definition as was pointed out in the book…

When you think about those characteristics can you think of times when you have lived in the box with self-betrayal?

Can you relate to “being in the box” and carrying that into other relationships and conversations?

Biblical Examples

Read Exodus 16

  • 16:2-3 – community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron, even to the point of saying that they purposefully trying to starve them to death
    • What could Moses and Aaron felt like in this situation?
    • What action did they take and what was their action (v.4-8)
    • Do you think there words were truthful? Do you think Moses and Aaron were teetering on self-betrayal?
  • 16:15 – Israelites confused and questionable
    • How was Moses response? Was it truthful?  Does it seem condescending and lack compassion? Was it from within the box?
  • 19-20 – Moses instructs them in detail what they are supposed to do and some of the Israelites don’t follow instructions, and Moses gets “very angry”.
    • Why do you think Moses got “very angry” when the people did not obey God’s instructions? Was it about them disobeying God? Or was Moses in the box and more worried about how he was being understood? Or how God might see him as a leader?
  • 28 – God questions Moses about the Israelites behavior.
    • While God was speaking honestly to Moses, what do you think is feelings were? Do you think he was receptive and compassionate for the Israelites?  Do you think that impacted his delivery of instruction to them?

Can you relate to times when you have been caught in the middle like Moses and Aaron? Hearing the complaining on one-side and being quick to judgemental tendencies?

Do you take things personal when a conversation is really is not about you?

Do you get defensive when someone asks questions about something you said or did? Or do you listen to their perspectives and view point?

Challenges this week

Keep that list of Self-Betrayal” handy and look to get frequently in your situations at work, at home with family, with people at the store, church. Are you walking about with a box and not even know it?