What a challenge and a blessing we have been faced with as we continue to read through Leadership and Self-Deception. Last time we heard about a situation that our main character, Tom, had with a co-worker that violated office rules. She used his work room and erased his notes from the board. Tom went on to describe how he took care of the situation. Now we open chapter 7 with Bud, Tom’s boss, sharing how he heard of the situation.

Read through chapter 7 People & Objects

In this chapter Tom came to realize that he did not have a commitment or desire to know more than about 20 people by name in his department. He realized that this behavior then leaves all the others as mere objects.

Can you grasp a time when this is a case for you? Where you don’t know names of people in your life, and you have no commitment to know them more than objects?

Bud uncovered a challenge that many of us get faced with. We get in a situation and we need to take action, and we do. We do the right thing, but as explained we do it while in the box. We do the right thing by objectifying the person (or people) that we are interacting with.

Can you share about a time when you may have done the right thing in a relationship, but you were “in the box” and did not treat the other person as a true person but an object?

We need to acknowledge, people primarily respond not to what we do but how we’re being – whether we are in the box or out of the box towards them. That old statement of “people don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care”, seems to relate to this example as well.

Can you share about a time when you felt like you objectified by someone else. When they interacted with you, but you could tell that they were in a box (maybe you put them in the box, or maybe they were in a box from another situation) and they interacted with you like an object. There did not seem to be much personal, but they sure went through the steps to mimic a relationship, but it was not as if you were a person, but a mere object in their life.

It becomes apparent to us as we pause and see the different ways people can interact. There are times where God gives us the ability to objectify a situation for our own safety. As as tragic moments and situations. Sometimes it involves an occupation, such as a mortician, coroner, a military person in conflict.

We also see that being in the box and out of the box with relationships seems to be a measure of our heart and our mindset.

Let’s look at an example from the Bible.

Can you recall a time when the people were in the box in their relationship with Jesus (treated him like an object)?

Matthew 15:53-58 – what is the feelings of Jesus, the disciples and the crowd. Whose in the box, who is not?

Matthew 20:20-28 – what are the relational conditions of these discussions. Is there any objectifying going on? How is it handled. Was the answer easy? Is there other ways that could have made it worse or better? What characteristics do you see in people?

In practice

This week you will get opportunities to make decisions with other people you will have the ability to be confronted or you may confront someone else. Think about whether you are in the box or maybe even if the person feels like your in the box (they feel like you are not treating them as a person). Identify those situations and pray for the ability to be more like Jesus.