Who are your longstanding friends—those who have seen you grow and change for many years? What do you enjoy about sharing your life with them?

Longtime relationships can be rare, but those few people we’ve either grown up with or known for years offer us a unique intimacy. If they’ve stuck around a long time, chances are they know us well and have chosen to tolerate our faults in favor of loyal friendship. They’ve shared in our joys, and they’ve gathered around us in our sorrows. We need them when times get tough.

In this session, Francis will address the anguish that Job shares with his three friends. They have sat with him for a week, and now Job is able to talk. He needs their listening ears.

Toward the end of chapter two, we saw Job sitting with his friends. After a week of mourning, Job finally began to speak.

Job’s pain was so great that he regretted being alive. We can also feel the pain of loss so deeply that it seems like we will never recover. When you are going through difficulties, whether momentary or life-changing, in what ways can it be difficult to face the future?

Job seemed to have forgotten all the good he’d experienced in life. His pain was overwhelming. The focus required to get through a day of suffering can blind us to the reality that not all of life has been this way. What do we have to be thankful for, even in seasons of suffering? What would it look like to reminisce on the good times with a person you have lost?

It can be difficult when our world changes to recognize that the rest of the world is still going along as if everything were normal. Job demands that God disregard his day of birth, that the stars would not shine on that day, and all people curse it. Suffering has shattered his world and he wants everyone to acknowledge him. In what ways is it good to have others acknowledge our grief? At what point can our demands for affirmation become myopic or self-centered?

Job compared himself to those whose lives had been so hard they were glad to die: the wicked (v. 17), the weary (v. 17), captives (v. 18), and slaves (v. 19). His life looked nothing like theirs, yet his suffering was so great he empathized with the lowest in society. In what ways could suffering help us relate to people with very different experiences from our own?

While Job did not express a plan to end his life, his thoughts led him down a dark path. Pain can hold us captive, making us feel like there is no hope or way out of our grief. What healing strategies have helped you or someone you know who’s suffered from depression? What could you do to remind yourself or someone close to you who is suffering of the hope they have in Christ?

Job didn’t have the right words to express the depths of his pain. In verse 24, he said he sounded like sighs and groaning. It is normal to not know what to say when we are in the middle of suffering. We may struggle with how to pray or be tempted to give up praying altogether. What have you done to communicate with God when you couldn’t or didn’t want to pray?

When we can’t find the words to pray, others can speak for us. How have the prayers of others comforted and encouraged you? Who could you ask to pray for you when you don’t have words beyond sighs and groans? 

Job had very pointed words to say about his perspective on the value of his life. What emotions did you feel as you read his complaints? To what extent have you felt the freedom to be that honest with God? Where would you draw the line in how you speak to God?

Throughout his speech in chapter 3, Job asked several “why” questions. His plaintive cries are included in Scripture to help us know that we are not alone in the confusion of grieving. Suffering is universal and understandable. Who in your life lets you be completely honest with your feelings? Have you felt free to tell God everything on your mind? Why, or why not?

Sometimes we feel pressure to remain positive about life, no matter what difficulties are happening, as if our faith depends upon expressing lightheartedness at all times. To feel sad, to grieve, to weep can feel disloyal to God. But the Bible includes many expressions of lament, including many psalms, the entire book of Lamentations, and Job 3. How surprised are you to know that God welcomes your lament? What could it look like for you to faithfully lament and grieve?

Francis referenced Jesus’s reaction to Mary and Martha’s grief when their brother, Lazarus, died. Though Jesus knew he would be bringing their brother back to life, he joined the sisters’ weeping. Death is a result of the fall, the “final enemy to be destroyed” (1 Corinthians 15:26), and worth mourning, even if we will be raised with Jesus. What does it mean to you that God understands your sorrow and suffering?

Francis encouraged us to look at the big picture, to see ourselves properly within the larger world and God’s purposes. Suffering is common, even though we all react to it in our own way. Instead of comparing our pain to others’, we can take comfort from knowing we are not alone in the brokenness of our world. It is right to weep and mourn and yet cling to the hope that Christ is with us. What habits can you begin or continue to encourage honesty with God and others, especially when you suffer?

What do we do when we feel stuck in our pain? Job voiced his true feelings, dark as they were. But God did not condemn his dark thoughts, his sorrow, or his questions. Instead, in Christ, we see God enter into our brokenness, experiencing and grieving the loss of loved ones. He knows the emotional trauma of suffering and loss.

We may feel stuck in grief, but we do have someone to go to. God has not left us alone. The witness of past believers, friends surrounding us, and the truth of God’s goodness can carry us through the worst. He can handle our grief. Turn to him with your deepest wounds this week.