Up to this point, we have learned all the basics when it comes to Andy Stanley’s “Enemy of the Heart”. We have learned about the four major oppositions to a healthy heart.
Guilt, Anger, Greed & Jealousy
Guilt: I owe you.
Anger: You owe me.
Greed: I owe me.
Jealousy: God owes me.
We have become accustomed to them in a way that let’s us move forward. For many of us, we shined a light into some nooks and crannies of our heart and found out we had some of those wounds and habits formed from a long time ago. We learned the defenses and the healing opportunities when it comes to these enemies.
Confession allows us to come out from hiding and opposes our guilt and propensity to feel like we are in debt, or will never be in good relationship, on a level field. Forgiveness allows others to come out of hiding, to have a relationship with us. It crumbles our walls that support anger. Generosity allows us to partner with God as he shows himself in tangible ways to the world around us. It takes the focus off of us, and directs it to what God is doing around us; his agenda, not ours. Celebration makes us a vehicle through which God communicates his pleasure. That is what we were created for.
Free to love
These four healthy habits (confession, forgiveness, generosity & celebration) free us and empower us to love as God intended us to love. Not limited to how the world defines, measures and instills a false love.
As long as we have anger, greed, guilt and jealousy in our lives, efforts to love will be short-lived, thwarted and only imitated. No amount of effort on our part can compensate for the weak heart. We cannot love well while harboring one or more of these enemies, in the end, we will crumble and fall.
Now let us review Paul’s warning and see if it may be a bit more clear…
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
When you read those verses now, can you see the warning of the enemy? Do some of those verses hit you a little harder?
Angry people are not patient people. Guilty people are not kind. Jealous people are full of envy. Greedy people cannot help but boast. Anger makes us rude. Greed tempts us to be self-seeking. Jealousy thrives in scorekeeping. Greedy people are self-protecting. Guilt keeps us from trusting others because we’ve proven to be untrustworthy ourselves.
When we are not well equipped, we are struggle and labor at simple things. Even to a point where we are frustrated, angry, sad, embarrassed and just want to avoid the situation. We definitely don’t want to talk about it and most likely, don’t want to do it again. And that is no different with love. Our challenge:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. – John 13:34 NIV
Stay sharp & ready
Over the years we have heard about how iron sharpens iron:
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17 NIV
And we know that sharpening is abrasive sometimes that a dull edge is transformed by direct contact and change. That is what we in in our relationships, in our walk with Christ. If we want to be loved and cared about by the people closest to us, we must invest in the basics. Partnering to help each other cleans and keep clean our hearts. Some basic questions can not be understood and answered daily, every day.
- Is everything okay in your heart?
- Are you mad at anybody?
- Did anybody hurt your feelings today?
- Did anybody break a promise to you today?
- Is there anything you need to share?
- Are you worried about anything?
- Who’s failure would you secretly celebrate?
Let us get in a practice of reviewing these observations daily, and not only individually, but they are great conversation starters with those in your life. Your spouse, your children, your friends. Remember, when asking, you are not offering to fix. You are setting the table for the other person to be sharpened.