How are you feeling?

We usually ask that question about a person’s physical health. It’s an equally valid question, however, to ask about a person’s emotional state of being.

Each of us has an emotional state of well–being that is just as vital to our overall wholeness as our physical or spiritual well–being. You cannot be a whole person in Christ Jesus if you are in bondage to your emotions or in denial of them.

It is amazing at the number of people who try to deny that they have an emotional response to the situations they encounter. They seem to believe that it is weak for a person to cry, a flaw for a person to feel anger or to express disappointment, a lack of self–control for a person to laugh aloud. Such people are missing out on the fullness of what it means to be alive.

How do you handle your emotions throughout the day? (Good, bad & embarrassing)

Feelings: Real but not always truthful

Feelings are real – we truly experience them. We don’t imagine them. They are real. But they are not necessarily the truth. They may be the truth but they aren’t always the truth. Kind of confusing, but here is an example. If we believe in Jesus Christ and feel like God loves us and accepts us that is the truth. If we feel condemned or that God has abandoned us that is not the truth.

¹⁶ For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile.* ¹⁷ This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.” – Romans 1:16-17 NLT

 Look at the proud!  They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God. – Habakkuk 2:4 NLT

As believers we live by faith, not by sight. Our circumstances may appear to indicate that God is not for us or that he is giving us too much to handle. Yet we live by faith in God’s word which says despite our circumstances God is for us and is not giving us too much to handle.

So it is with our feelings. We live by faith in God’s word not what our feelings tell us. We may feel hopeless. We may feel like we can’t go on another day. The challenge for believers is always what are we going to believe– our feelings or God’s word?

What are some things that you did not believe, but have occurred?

An expression of emotion is part of what makes us human. Emotions are a gift of God, who created each of us with a capacity to feel and to express emotions.

It is quite possible that a major fracture in our culture is the lack of commitment of men to acknowledge their emotions, let alone share them. It does become a common practice that men intellectually believe they know what they should feel, even though they don’t. To ensure that they come across well, or are seen as “okay”, they act like they have the emotions they feel they should have. This also includes the practice of ignoring the emotions they do have, if they think the emotions are inappropriate for a situation.

With the curtain drawn back, what is your personal experience in wrestling with emotions?

The facts are, emotions are vital to our ability to communicate to others the uniqueness of our personalities. They are also a means of responding to God, to other people, and to life in general.

Many people don’t know how to express their emotions in healthful ways that promote good relationships with friends and family members. Learning how to deal with one’s emotions—how to direct them toward good outcomes, express them without sinning, and give voice to emotions in order to improve communication—is a vital skill.

What is your personal response when you feel a fluctuation in emotions?  How are you doing when it comes to communicating your feelings?

Still other people allow themselves to have a free–flowing emotional response to life, and they have learned to control their emotions, but they are uncomfortable talking about the way they feel.

Learning how to tell others what you are feeling and why is a part of becoming a mature person. It is a skill that is critical to the development of adult–to–adult relationships.
I don’t know where you are today in terms of answering the question “How are you feeling?” I do know this, however: wherever you are on the spectrum of emotional growth—from denial to full expression—the Lord Jesus Christ desires that you have emotional health. He desires that you express emotions in the way that He created them to be expressed. He desires that you freely admit to emotions, that you know how to control them and use them in right ways, and that you discuss your emotional responses with others.

Expressing Emotions

Are there good and bad emotions? Yes and no. Emotions in and of themselves are neutral. Their expression takes on the nature of good and bad.

All emotions are valid. Each has a place in God’s design of your human psyche and spirit. God created your emotions so that you might enjoy them, communicate with them.
Each person, to a certain extent, is going to have a unique response to life’s situations, problems, circumstances, and challenges. One person may weep at the beauty of a moving piece of music, another person may sit in silent awe, and still another person may stand to give thunderous applause. We must allow others the privilege of their expression.
We also must give one another the privilege of expressing emotions privately. Although I advocate the healthful and free expression of emotions, I do not advocate that a person be required to express emotions in the presence of others.

Conversely, we must be careful not to assume that we have the right to express our emotions freely and fully in the presence of others. Every public expression of emotion should take into consideration the public being asked to witness the emotional display. Simple courtesy and respect should govern our behavior. Restraint is not denial of emotions; it is control of them in the presence of others.

If we acknowledge we have an emotion, do we need to share it?

Sometimes we are overcome with emotion. We may lose control in a particular situation or circumstance. At those times, we may feel we should apologize for our lack of control or restraint, but we should never apologize for having feelings. When we apologize for having emotions, we are in danger of stuffing them, with a possible eruption later. Stuffed emotions can be damaging.

Uncharted Waters

For most of us, the realm of emotions has uncharted territories. We are unsure of the language of emotions. We have neglected or feared to explore areas of the inner life.
Recognize at the outset of this study that if this is true for you, it is likely true for every other person you know. Give family members, your circle of friends, other church members, your Bible study group, the freedom to err on their way toward emotional health.

In Summary…

God made you to have feelings. He has a desire for you to experience His presence with your emotions, to express yourself emotionally, and to have an emotional relationship with other people.

The Lord desires that you become emotionally whole.

• Stanley, C. F. (1997). Becoming emotionally whole (electronic ed.). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.
•  Tyndale House Publishers. (2013). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Ro 1:16–17). Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.